Andromeda Tonks (soppycow) wrote,
Andromeda Tonks
soppycow

  • Mood:

HELP HELP HELP

OKAY! ALICE'S PARTY IS IN TEN MINUTES AND I AM IN A PETROL STATION NEARBY LOOKING FOR SOMETHING THAT WILL PROBABLY ONLY REMIND HER OF WHAT A SHITTY FRIEND I WAS AND WHY WE STOPPED TALKING IN THE FIRST PLACE BUT I CAN'T GO ON ABOUT THAT BECAUSE I NEED MAKE A LIST OF ALL POTENTIAL GIFTS. YES. YES. I'LL START WITH THE STUFF NEAREST TO THE CASH REGISTER AND SWIVEL AROUND:
  1. SPANISH FLY (NO IDEA WHAT IT'S FOR BUT THERE'S A SHIRTLESS WOMAN SNIFFING A MAN'S CROTCH ON THE COVER. SEEMS PROMISING.)

  2. A SCROLLED-UP HOROSCOPE (BUT I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT HER SIGN IS AND THAT IS A SUCH STUPID STUPID IDEA ANYHOW.)

  3. PORK RINDS (I MEAN WHO COULD SAY NO TO FLAVOURLESS BITS OF FRIED PIG FLESH? HA HA HA. OH GOD OH GOD.)

  4. BEEF JERKY (THEY ONLY HAVE TERIYAKI STYLE, THOUGH.)

  5. DECORATIVE PIPES (IT'S REALLY JUST A BONG, BUT IT COMES IN ALL SORTS OF PRETTY COLOURS! I CAN GET ONE TO MATCH HER COUCH! SHE CAN USE IT AS A INCENSE HOLDER! THEY GOT INCENSE HERE, TOO!!)

  6. FAGS (OF THE NICOTINE VARIE
AND FUCK THE CLERK HERE SAYS I'M LOITERING SO I NEED TO PICK SOMETHING ASAP. MAYBE I SHOULD JUST GET ONE OF EACH BECAUSE CHEAP CRAP IS CHEAP CRAP, BUT A LOT OF CHEAP CRAP CAN MAKE FOR AN ADEQUATE PRESENT?
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